Santa Claus: Environmental Impact Statement
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Santa supports drilling in ANWR because his delivery service needs the extra oil (he doesn’t really deliver presents worldwide all by himself). Santa uses nonunion, Chinese labor and undercuts other smaller stores by giving away his product. We can’t tell whether Santa is a Republican or Democrat. It is rumored that Santa is being subsidized by the U.S. government and is receiving special air clearances by the Defense Department. Congress is calling for an investigation. Clearly, the Record of Decision should reflect that Santa is a significant polluting entity.