Alvin "Forrest Gump" Greene Will Win SC Senate Race

By Korben Dallas

U.S. Senate Candidate is Bubba and Forrest rolled into one.

He Cannot Lose.

I Support Alvin "Bubba Gump" Greene

South Carolina Congressman and House Majority Whip James Clyburn might be livid at the prospect of Alvin M. Greene, right, being the state Democratic Party nominee for the Senate, but I think Mr. Greene will capture the imagination of South Carolinians and the nation. Talk about outsider. He makes Tea Party candidates look like big-spending Congressional insiders. Green will not only ride the anti-incumbent, anti-big government wave into Congress, he will also become a superstar and might even challenge Barack Obama for the Democratic Party nomination for the presidency in 2012. And if anybody can beat President Obama, it would be BubbaGump Green.

Sure, Greene has some pesky little scandals circling around him, but they seem to be minor, err, she's grown. That is the 19 year old college student accusing him of showing her some porn on a library computer. There are also some questions about his discharge from the military, that is, whether it was honorable or dishonorable. Greene says it was honorable but involuntary. That will play to the antimilitary crowd and to the military crowd.

Some are embarassed by Greene. But this will help him too. For Greene is the anti-Obama at a time of weakened stature for the president because of the oil spill in the Gulf and the political maneuvering in some elections.

We cannot wait to hear his positions on energy and environmental issues. If you need help Mr. Greene, give us a call. We will be happy to help you flush out those complex green issues. (Wash Post, 6/11/2010)